Happy Birthday MOMMY!!!

I remember your bday last year, how special it was! We brought the party to you! You lit up the room, even though inside you were “sick in tired of being sick in tired”. We played phase ten, even though you could hardly see the cards. We laughed, we loved, we shared our time together, the whole fambam!!!

This moment got cut short, and the look in your eyes broke all of our hearts. My heart breaks a mill times that I didn’t have my car at this time and that I had to rely on someone else to get us home and because of this, this special moment had to be cut short and rushed You didn’t want us to stop the game, you didn't want the night to end so soon, you were surrounded by attention and love and care!!! Compared to your prison of lonliness stuck in a room staring into space, watching tv, but barely being able to see, more so listening to tv, not knowing the hours and days from each other. We had no idea this would be our last BDAY with you!!

You deserved so much better, so much more!!! None of it is right!!! You would have never turned your back on the ones you loved!!! You would have never been to busy!!! You would have never felt inconvenienced!!!!

RAGE, RAGE, RAGE!!! DIRE PAIN, DIRE AGONY, DIRE HAUNTING!!!!!

FOR MY OWN SALVATION, I BATTLE EVERY SINGLE DAY TO TRY AND SET THE RAGE FREE AND TRY AND FIND ANY BITS AND PIECES OF HEALING!! THERE CAN NEVER BE PEACE OR CLOSURE!!! BUT I AM DESPERATE FOR ANY BITS AND PIECES OF!!!!

...Mom

Dearest Mom,

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Overview: I erased the few that I had no trouble or experience with~
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after you've seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death.


Symptoms of PTSD fall into three main categories:

1. Repeated "reliving" of the event, which disturbs day-to-day activity
Flashback episodes, where the event seems to be happening again and again
Recurrent distressing memories of the event
Repeated dreams of the event
Physical reactions to situations that remind you of the traumatic event

2. Avoidance
Emotional "numbing," or feeling as though you don’t care about anything
Feelings of detachment

Lack of interest in normal activities
Less expression of moods
Staying away from places, people, or objects that remind you of the event


3. Arousal
Difficulty concentrating
Exaggerated response to things that startle you
Excess awareness (hypervigilance)
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Sleeping difficulties

You also might feel a sense of guilt about the event (including "survivor guilt"), and the following symptoms, which are typical of anxiety, stress, and tension:
Agitation, or excitability


Feeling your heart beat in your chest (palpitations)

Headache


Causes
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may occur soon after a major trauma, or it can be delayed for more than 6 months after the event. When it occurs soon after the trauma, it usually gets better after 3 months. However, some people have a longer-term form of PTSD, which can last for many years.

PTSD can occur at any age and can follow a natural disaster such as a flood or fire, or events such as war, a prison stay, assault, domestic abuse, or rape. The terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, in the United States may have caused PTSD in some people who were involved, in people who saw the disaster, and in people who lost relatives and friends. These kinds of events can produce stress in anyone, but not everyone develops PTSD.

The cause of PTSD is unknown, but psychological, genetic, physical, and social factors are involved. PTSD changes the body’s response to stress. It affects the stress hormones and chemicals that carry information between the nerves (neurotransmitters). Having been exposed to trauma in the past may increase the risk of PTSD.

Having good social support helps to protect against PTSD. In studies of Vietnam veterans, those with strong support systems were less likely to get PTSD than those without social support.
People with PTSD re-experience the event again and again in at least one of several ways. They may have frightening dreams and memories of the event, feel as though they are going through the experience again (flashbacks), or become upset during anniversaries of the event.

Dedication to my MOTHER, MY HERO!!! MY ENTIRE BEING, HEART & SOUL, MY EVERY BREATH!!~

Sissy Song, music player is having difficulty keeping this on for some reason

Another song dedicated to Mom

Challenging month!!

September 1st, 10 months--In Merri's NAME** OUR MOTHER, OUR NANA, OUR HERO, OUR HEART & SOUL, OUR EARTH ANGEL, OUR HEAVENLY ANGEL~

YOUR BIRTHDAY IS IN 27 DAYS!! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THIS SPECIAL DAY AS WE ALWAYS DO, OUR FAMILY GATHERING!!! OUR TRADITIONS LIVE ON FOREVER!!!!

THIS WILL BE A VERY DIFFICULT DAY FOR ALL OF US!!!