I know your resting in peace Mommy. This was always so hard for me to say. Because I witnessed 1st hand how hard you tried to stay alive. 13 years seems impossible. We cherish you! Together, forever, earth and in heaven.
It felt good having the whole fam (our small family) together for Halloween. We were all by your side these final hours. 💓💓💓💓
Hard moment.
I no longer track the months since you’ve been gone. Just the years. Every October, it begins to happen…the extra sensitivity, the silent heaviness, the fatigu in my heart.. Some intrusive thoughts try to invade and I thank God I am able to instantly block it out. Occasionally it takes a few blocks.
Oct 26th will forever be the beginning and Nov 1st, forever the end. Every other month I stay strong and not thinking about it. It took many years to keep the 7 day chain of events blocked out.
As I write this, crying inside and out, I just want my Mommy. That’s it.
I know you are with me, with US always💓💓 and I know where you are,like I’ve never known before! This knowing and TIME is my only form of peace.
You never ever get over it. Time simply allows you to learn to live through it and around it.
Heavenly Birthday Mommy🎈🎂💜💛💙❤️💚🤎🧡‼️
Hard to believe today you would be 71. Hard to believe we are going on 13 years. Every breath I take, we take together🤍🖤.
We celebrate YOU everyday! We know you are ALWAYS with US. Together, forever, earth and in heaven‼️
My Dearest Mom/Mommy,
I know where you are and this helps bring me comfort…
I know your with ALL of US simultaneously, always and this helps bring me comfort…
I still struggle with this loss and always will. Especially the tragic details behind it, that I witnessed intricately. Going on 12 years-I’ve come so far. Still feels surreal at times.
If only it could have been a peaceful natural passing. I’ve learned to pray for this and hope for this anytime I hear of someone else’s loss🙏🏼
We celebrate you everyday Mommy, always will🥰
Happy Birthday in Heaven💞
Love always,
Your PT, Sunshine, AJ ☀️
Oh Mom, I’m having a hard moment. I’ve held so much inside, trying to be strong for all that’s on my plate, trying to stay focused. Tonight I had a good healthy moment to my self. I had to let so much pain and heartbreak out. I miss you so much, I just want to hug you, I want to hold you, I want a hug from you. I held my pillow so tightly imagining it was you. I imagined you holding me back so tightly. I’m so sorry for what we both had to endure. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to protect you. I’m so sorry I was all alone. I tried so hard to protect you. I thank God I got to be at your side those 7 days! I know your in Heaven, I now know Heaven is for real. I thank God for this, this brings me some comfort. I promise I will let it out more often, so it doesn’t build up.
I pray so deeply that this blog stays up forever and nothing happens to it. After we’ve all passed, for your grandkids and theirs.
You were and are so deeply loved!! More then you ever knew on earth and that breaks my heart too. But I find comfort knowing you now finally know and that your watching over all of us and you get to be with us all at once and always🥺💔🙏🏼😇
11 years later- I can now think of you often with basic thoughts-but that’s it! And I thank God repeatedly for how far I’ve come. I still have to check the invasive-intrusive-memories and details that occasionally try and sneak in-which debilitate my heart.
I miss you and love you with every breath I take, every heartbeat💝💝💝 Heart&Soul, Together Forever; Earth & in Heaven😇
You taught me how to be the most amazing mom, (which includes mistakes and growth along the way). This is the greatest gift you have given me. My pride and joy, my every breath and beat; just like it was yours💕 You taught me how to love unconditionally...💓
You are my hero❣️
Xmas was everything to YOU and our family and we carry on that torch.
Today- instead of this date being so tragic; we will begin a new tradition of Xmas decorating on the 1st of every November. With the spirit of YOU💖
