You were in the news so many time for your heroic acts!! And in your time of tragedy, no one noticed!!! I tried so hard to get help, get the news involved, Oprah, someone, who could HELP your situation!!!
You fought through it all somehow; and finally got to a better place again! I remember your words and can hear your voice when you said, " I am back and I am not going anywhere!" We finally had our Mom back!! You finally saw some light at the long dark hopeless tunnel.
And then BAM, back to being consumed in loneliness, a prisoner, all alone. Staring, fidgeting your fingers, not being able to see the t.v you were watching, not being able to read, not even being able to dial the phone at times to call someone. 3 months straight all over again, to the point your mind began to create experiences, like being in the lounge room instead of being stuck to that hospital bed. I remember your words, your voice, "I am sick in tired of being sick and tired." Yet you didn't want to die, you feared death for us, for yourself!!!
And then BAM again, straight to 7 days of horror, 4 1/2 in which you couldn't speak, and were in and out of sedation. 2 cardiac arrest your spirit fought through and then your final cardiac arrest, you body could not take anymore!!!!
Torture is one word that can truly DESCRIBE!!
Why not a peaceful passing. Why did you have to endure all the torture and then be taken like that.
WHY!!!!
I feel tortured inside by all!! And I know its taking its toll on me in many aspects to the point I am worried for my own health!! So, I am forcing as much as I can to fake it till I make it through. Forcing my meditations that were once natural and done daily, sometimes several times a day, forcing healing words/affirmations, therapy, ect!! Trying to find a way!!! For myself, my BABIES, my LIFE, for you because I know you don't wanna see me this way!!!!
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Just wanted to visit and say my husband works for the local power company and your tribute to your Mother,Nana, sister. . . was found and deeply touch the many who read it. It was a beautiful moment we share with the passing of our Nana too. Im sorry for all her pain and the pain your family is going thru. God Bless
ReplyDeleteOur family was so touched to know that our balloons reached out and that you took the time to view our memorial. It means a lot. We all teared up in reading this comment. We plan to do this every holiday in her honor. My heart goes out to your family as well with the passing of your loved one. We are strangers, yet a connection was made. Neat!
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