Merry Christmas Mom!

We all picked out your special tree, together, as past traditions. We also spent Xmas Eve together with you, as always and we sent off a bunch of green and red balloons with personalized messages, to you in heaven! Berlin wanted to go through all of her letters to you and share them with me. She is so sentimental too, and we get that from YOU!

Heart and Soul, Together Forever, Earth and Heaven!!!~~~

Dear Mom,

I am also so sorry that you never knew your Dad was in the hospital (very sick), and neither did Jeremy or I. This broke all of our hearts because regardless of any hard feelings, or distance that may have been there (with valid reason); we should have had the opportunity to at least know, and the chance to visit him and share some loving words- while he was alive. I know how much he would have wanted to see you and say some last words before he passed. And I know how much you wanted the chance to say some last loving words. The hurt you felt!!! Big Pampa: unconditionally we all loved you and still love you!! I hope Mom is with you, Big Nana, Uncle Tom, Mamaw Wesley, and Mamaw Teen!

This month...

This time of year was always harder on you when you lost your special brother; I remember!!! This time of the year is extremely painful for all of us, because you were FORCED to be taken from us, from your life: UNJUSTLY! Every single day, is one step at a time for me! Not a single day goes by that I don't have to fight off the invading thoughts, flashes!! I am taking so many strides to find my way through this! To survive this!! I know I have too, for my own salvation, for my children, for you MOM!!! I will never give up and will always continue the self help steps, I am taking! You never gave up, through the worst non stop tragedy (over 11 years)!! Even when you were so tired, and sick and tired of being "sick and tired!" Even at your dieing moments, you fought 2 cardiac arrests, as sick as you were at that point. Your spirit fought so hard to stay alive!!! You did everything you were supposed to do! Even when you didn't want to, they said it would save your life and "IT" along with all the other hardcore negligence and medical malpractice; KILLED you!!! I am still fighting for justice and won't EVER rest, until JUSTICE is served!!!

13 months, IN MERRI'S NAME!!