Merri C. Roberson 09/28/51 - 11/01/2009 The strongest most selfless mother in the world. Rest in Peace.
I can rest easy knowing that you are now able to look after us without limitations. I love you so much mom!
Just got off phone with sis, aprx 2 hrs. Very bad DAY for me reg Mom. Found out more haunting details regarding Mom and the time that she spent at Apache Health Care prior to being admitted to the hospital this very last time; which killed her!! 2 months later-Other days on the surface: if not asleep, sometimes forcing myself to be asleep, I have to be very busy with my babies, loved ones until their bed time; then all hours of the night> almost speeding through any and all, non stop one thing after another staying occupied, busy, to not allow my mind room to think about ALL the details of the entire 10 yrs! Or battling my mind over obsessively living, re living details, playing out details- Reenacting all possible things, feelings, chain of events, haunting, what ifs, if only, how could, this can't be, not like this, it's not right, ect ect ect ect ect!! I am LITERALLY TRYING NOT TO DIE INSIDE MOMMY!! I am worried Mom, I am worried. I have to be here for my babies!! I am here for them. But, I am at war within! Constant battle, struggle. This war is on top of normal life struggles, ups downs, challenges, ect. My head ends up feeling hot like a fever but no fever, bad head aches, like it will burst at times. How can there ever be true healing-peace!!! With all the details!! I pray for this medium desperately for some kind of closure for all of us, including you mommy. I don't know how I can go the rest of my life like this. I pray for my entire family!!!
In Merri's name: I am going hardcore for my Associate of Science degree in Paralegal!! She came so close to her law degree, she went so far with her Paralegal degree prior to her tragic horse accident nearly 11 yrs ago!! I have always loved this field, but was pursuing my business degree slowly and actively raising my babies full time and jobs. But this is now my mission! At a malpractice FIRM!! A job I will love to do every day, advocating, fighting for the innocent, for justice for families torn apart from negligence and malpractice!!! In Merri's NAME!! Mom, I will hang my GED along with my Paralegal degree certificate next to yours!!! I already have 27 transferable credits toward my degree!! I am doing for US MOM!!! And it is a good paying JOB!!! Which I need!!! On my OWN!!!
Just got off phone with sis, aprx 2 hrs. Very bad DAY for me reg Mom. Found out more haunting details regarding Mom and the time that she spent at Apache Health Care prior to being admitted to the hospital this very last time; which killed her!! 2 months later-Other days on the surface: if not asleep, sometimes forcing myself to be asleep, I have to be very busy with my babies, loved ones until their bed time; then all hours of the night> almost speeding through any and all, non stop one thing after another staying occupied, busy, to not allow my mind room to think about ALL the details of the entire 10 yrs! Or battling my mind over obsessively living, re living details, playing out details- Reenacting all possible things, feelings, chain of events, haunting, what ifs, if only, how could, this can't be, not like this, it's not right, ect ect ect ect ect!! I am LITERALLY TRYING NOT TO DIE INSIDE MOMMY!! I am worried Mom, I am worried. I have to be here for my babies!! I am here for them. But, I am at war within! Constant battle, struggle. This war is on top of normal life struggles, ups downs, challenges, ect. My head ends up feeling hot like a fever but no fever, bad head aches, like it will burst at times. How can there ever be true healing-peace!!! With all the details!! I pray for this medium desperately for some kind of closure for all of us, including you mommy. I don't know how I can go the rest of my life like this. I pray for my entire family!!!
ReplyDeleteIn Merri's name: I am going hardcore for my Associate of Science degree in Paralegal!! She came so close to her law degree, she went so far with her Paralegal degree prior to her tragic horse accident nearly 11 yrs ago!! I have always loved this field, but was pursuing my business degree slowly and actively raising my babies full time and jobs. But this is now my mission! At a malpractice FIRM!! A job I will love to do every day, advocating, fighting for the innocent, for justice for families torn apart from negligence and malpractice!!! In Merri's NAME!! Mom, I will hang my GED along with my Paralegal degree certificate next to yours!!! I already have 27 transferable credits toward my degree!! I am doing for US MOM!!! And it is a good paying JOB!!! Which I need!!! On my OWN!!!
ReplyDelete