Saturday, August 14, 2010
My dream last night....
all I remember is being in a hospital, and seeing you in ICU, this time you were laying on your side, I walked in, I noticed in shock but with great relief that you didn't have the life support tube in and your neck brace was off. I went to your side, I finally got to talk to you and you were able to talk back. I caressed your hair and head. You were pent up with tears and started to shed all of them. It was bottled up inside from when you couldn't speak and all the chain of events that occurred over the 7 days. I held you, I hugged you!! It seemed so real!!! I felt such overwhelmed JOY and PEACE!!! I felt with huge confidence that there was now a great chance you could get better and make it through!!! I then awoke and realized it was just a dream!!! I felt shattered!!! But, it also felt so good to see you and hold you and we both got to communicate to each other!!! I pray for these dreams!!! I need these dreams!!! As desperate as that is, it is all I have!!!! And I will take what ever I can get, until I can find more!!!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Phase 2
I have to avoid any and all.. thoughts of you of it, for now!!! It's too unbearable!! I have to fight the urge, divert over and over every time you/it pops into my head. I have to look away, I can't visit this site for a while. For now mommy!! Every breath I breath is through you! You live on through all of us, every thing we do, every day we live until we get to hold each other again in heaven! The fight for justice still continues!! I will not stop until justice is served!! There is NO CLOSURE NO PEACE!!!! But, I am desperate for any ounce I can find, regarding!!!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Letter from Mom to Aimee
She hated the computer, and this was her one and only letter to me(of the thousands)that she actually got on the computer to type and it's cute, you can actually tell she didn't use computer that often:
Dear Aimee',
I know we had our arguments and fights and I've even threatened to move you out but I think we both always new it was an empty threat. Part of me is excited for you cause believe it or not I was 19 once and I moved out though not voluntarily,,,, Mom and dad moved back to Chicago and I was in college here., but any way it was kinda of exciting tho I would have prefered if Mom had only been a few miles away instead of 3 thousand but…The other part of me is all weeapy cause my baby, and you are my baby is moving out and it feels like the second third of my reason for being here is going. Guess I'd better watch out when Jeremy moves out, I won't have an excuse for being any more. I just want you to really be happy and careful and safe and happy and everything.. Please remember that for whaat it's worth, this will always be your home and I hope you'll always want to spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays etc. here with us.. Please don't ever tell the other two but since the moment you were born and looked me in the eyes you were my favorite. Krish and Jeremy used to complain about it all the time. When we were in the hospital and you were brand new, you would talk to me and I to you. You were my buddy cause I got to spend the most time with you cause they wouldn't let you start schoool cause of your b-day. Just please never doubt how very much I've always loved you and always will. Yoou kids are my life and I love you oh so very much. Enjoy your pretty , smokeless , apt. Just please be very careful.
Love ALWAYS, Mom
Dear Aimee',
I know we had our arguments and fights and I've even threatened to move you out but I think we both always new it was an empty threat. Part of me is excited for you cause believe it or not I was 19 once and I moved out though not voluntarily,,,, Mom and dad moved back to Chicago and I was in college here., but any way it was kinda of exciting tho I would have prefered if Mom had only been a few miles away instead of 3 thousand but…The other part of me is all weeapy cause my baby, and you are my baby is moving out and it feels like the second third of my reason for being here is going. Guess I'd better watch out when Jeremy moves out, I won't have an excuse for being any more. I just want you to really be happy and careful and safe and happy and everything.. Please remember that for whaat it's worth, this will always be your home and I hope you'll always want to spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays etc. here with us.. Please don't ever tell the other two but since the moment you were born and looked me in the eyes you were my favorite. Krish and Jeremy used to complain about it all the time. When we were in the hospital and you were brand new, you would talk to me and I to you. You were my buddy cause I got to spend the most time with you cause they wouldn't let you start schoool cause of your b-day. Just please never doubt how very much I've always loved you and always will. Yoou kids are my life and I love you oh so very much. Enjoy your pretty , smokeless , apt. Just please be very careful.
Love ALWAYS, Mom
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